Sharmin Rahman
It feels like a scene from a movie where some ominous entity is lurking outside to grasp us all. It feels like the apocalypse is almost here to end everything. We are living in a time full of uncertainty. No one has ever encountered a catastrophic situation like this before. Therefore, there is a constant fear within us with the pandemic, lockdown, education, business, job and death counts. Nothing is secure anymore, which is affecting our mental healthseverely. From the real life to the virtual world everywhere people are only talking about the NUMBERS of infected and dead. Everyone from the old to the young are under some kind of mental stress due to Covid-19 and I am no exception.
People who are infected with Covid-19 and are in isolation experience a whole another level of trauma because they cannot talk to anyone face to face, cannot touch anyone and above all there life is in utter danger. They do not even know when the situation gets worse. Last summer I was quarantined at my room for around 16 days straight as I lost my smell and taste sense completely. It was the time when the whole world was going through strict lockdown. When WHO was also exploring what is this virus!! Well, me being shattered inside but putting a strong façade outside shut my door to save my family.
So, it was me, the internet and my thoughts locked inside the room. I remember I was scrolling through the Facebook whole day looking for updates expecting there might be a hint of light at the end of the tunnel, expecting it might not be a critical disease, they might discovered a cure but it wasn’t the case. The social media made it worse for me. There were only wailing of people for oxygen, for ambulance, for ICU for saving the life of their loved ones. I remember staying awake at the nights because I used to hear people crying and shouting whenever I was trying to get some sleep where there was not anyone crying. And I could not share it with anyone because my family and relatives were already worried for me.I was devastated and felt a sense of guilt as well because I could cause harm to my family who were physically more vulnerable to this disease than me.Guilt is another emotion which is very dominant for a Covid patient. The nurse in Italy committed suicide because she was afraid she might infect others, the policeman in Bangladesh jumped off the roof because he thought he had Covid.
People who are not infected by the virus are also infected with the horror of getting the virus. Every time someone steps out of the house, it feels like they are going to fight a battle except they cannot see the enemy here which makes it harder. The fright seems to be always there. What if! What if the person walked across me has the virus!!What if I already have the virus and showing no symptoms!! What if I am spreading the virus among the people around me!! How will it end?! The exclamation continues….
The situation is worse now. All those posts on social media seeking prayers, urging people for plasma makes me feel helpless. All those photos of people losing jobs, leaving the city makes me feel miserable. All those numbers of infected and dead people makes me feel pathetic. These numbers are real people who are suffering.I can only imagine how it would feel for those who are experiencing these. Even hearing about these are depressing.
Money is a BIG concern whether we admit it or not. I am in a dilemma whether to support the lockdown or not. I whole heartedly want a strict lockdown as it is the only way to survive but what about those people who cannot survive if there is a lockdown. Either ways our survival is at risk.The people who lost their jobs are underimmense mental pressure. Possessing all the qualities to have a job, they are unable to have one and they cannot do anything about it. What can the companies do either?!! They cannot afford all those employees. Where does this crisis end?! One can only keep worrying about how to survive but cannot reach to a viable solution.
Everyone is trying hard to keep their body and soul together in this desperate time where many succumb to despair because they cannot keep up with this fear of the unknown. People always strive to feel secure. But this current situation is putting everything at stake. No one knows for how long this virus will keep defeating us, how long people will be jobless and how long we all will be worried about our life. Everyone is at a terror of what might happen and this is making us alltrepidatious. Here I am, still hoping that one fine morning I would wake up to realize that it was a long nightmare. Corona virus is indeed a disease that requires physical medication but no one can overlook the need of mental care it also requires.
Sharmin Rahman, Former student of East West University, Department of English
